Mahatma Gandhi was once invited to speak at the House Of Commons in England. He spoke for over 2 hours and brought an essentially hostile audience to a standing ovation before he was done. Following his speech, some reporters approached his secretary, Mahadev Desai, inquiring if indeed it was possible that Gandhi could mesmerize his audience for that long without using any notes whatsoever. They did not believe it. Desai responded:

"What Gandhi thinks, what he feels, what he says, and what he does are all the same. He does not need notes....You and I, we think one thing, feel another, say a third, and do a fourth, so we need notes and files to keep track."

I always admired that. I love that statement. It rings true to me. Gandhi himself once was quoted as saying, "My life is an indivisible whole, and all my activities run into one another. My life is my message."

There is power in that statement. I hope that someday I can achieve that kind of integrity and personal achievement. That being said, I don't want to wear grown up pampers made from sheets, nor do I believe it possible for me to ever get to the point where I remain peaceful and docile regardless of what I'm being subjected to...however, I aspire to learn many things from this man. So...I think I'm  going to write about the five people I admire most- and why.

If you had to pick 5 people who you admire, who would they be and why???

*************************My Turn**************

(In no particular order- "Click" on the link in RED)

1.  Javier Ovando    Why? Because he has kept a positive attitude and outlook on life even though he's suffered so much, and been put through so much injustice.

2. George Foreman  Why? Read the post.

3. Tupac Amaru Shakur  This was in one of my comments: "And the person that named tupac ...COME ON he didn't do anything. If your going to name people that are your hero's then please name people that have done something for you." Well,  let me just say that I respect your opinion, however, Tupac has done a lot for me. When I heard his music, I realized that there was someone out there that knew me. That understood me. That had gone through the hopelessness that I was feeling, and felt the despair that I felt. Someone who didn't judge, but knew the why's of the wrong decisions I had made in my life. His music gave me hope. When he died, I truly felt like I lost a brother, a kindred spirit. I'm not ashamed to tell you all that I wept.

4. Alex Sanchez  Why? Because he went through everything I did, and decided to change his life. Though my enemy in a previous life, I respect and admire him for all the good he has been able to accomplish thus far. He has helped change many lives.

5. Father Greg Boyle Why? Because he is one of very few people that truly sees the value of a soul. He has the ability to look past the gruff exterior and past the tattoos. He has love in his heart and lives everyday doing what nobody around him does...helping people, and giving hope to those who had lost it...for free.

I was outside recently with a good friend of mine and the subject came up about manly women. It started because there is always a woman at on her cell phone who happens to be outside quite a bit. She has a really deep voice. I said to my friend that I could never be with a woman like that. She asked why and I said, "Could you imagine being in the dark and hearing a manly voice say that they want to make love to you?" We both laughed. Yeah, I know it was a mean thing to say, but it was funny at the time.

(I had to edit this pic...sorry)

I know that there are a small percentage of men out there who find these women sexy or attractive, but I have to be honest, most men fight their gag reflex when they look at these women. I know I do. Now, I also realize that some women are just born unattractive (men too) but even the most unattractive woman can make herself look better with a little make up and effort...and some good 'ol common sense.

This is a list of Miguel's do's and don'ts:

Do

1. Shave your legs, armpits and other areas as needed.

2. Shower, smell good, and dress nice.

3. Smile and be good natured.

Don't

1. Ever scratch your groin area or rump for any reason in public view.

2. Swear like a sailor or hock loogies.

Can you think of some other do's and don'ts?

Sorry about the delay in updating. Starting tomorrow, I will have more time to spend on Xanga. I'm happy about that. Right now. I'm fixing, editing and updating pictures from older posts of mine. I will be back with a post tomorrow though. Here's a sneak peek at what I'll be writing about ===>

Can you guess? Stay tuned.

****UPDATE************************************************************

Ha, ha! I'm back homies and homegirls! Guess what? You were all dead WRONG!!! Okay, not really, but some of you will ONLY receive partial credit. I wanted to talk about etiquette. How far too far is.

So I love the pic above, I cropped it from a panoramic picture. I like it because it's so raw. The groom has no intention of curbing his dog nature...no doubt that marriage was doomed from the start. But I want to talk about how far, too far is. Men are dogs. I've said it before...remember? And truth is we get what we deserve sometimes.

When it comes to infidelity, there's really no excuse. The person knows it's wrong. The only thing that is uncertain sometimes are the consequences. Most of the time the woman is emotional and does something like this ==>

Yeah, messing with a man's car definitely hurts. It doesn't matter if it's a Porsche or a heap of a car that barely runs, a man's car is always special to him. Most men name and talk to their cars. We don't admit it, but it's true. This is good, but it doesn't teach us the lesson you women are hoping for. It just makes us angry. But some women are even smarter and hit the man where it hurts them even more ===>

$25,000,000

$45,000,000

$50,000,000

$60,000,000

and the recent record breaker:

 $150,000,000!

Their pocket! In all honesty, though those are all obscene amounts of money, some of them up to half of their net worth...but none those guys are not hurting for money. Even Jordan losing 150 million isn't going to go without...he has another 150 million to help heal his wounds. It's when you're making 30 thousand a year and you have to give away 15 thousand that hurts! Believe it or not, I'm fine with this. But there is a line you just don't cross.  Two things come to mind ==>

Yeah...she definitely crossed the line, and though that particular case made headlines...and most men in America think twice about cheating and sleeping on their back, there is a less well known case that crossed the line even further ==>

In February 2005, Vietnamese immigrant Kim Tran, 35, of Anchorage, Alaska, snapped after her boyfriend, 44, threatened to break up with her. Allegedly, the man Tran was having a relationship with her while he was married to her aunt. In fact, the three lived together for a period of time until the man moved out earlier in the year after problems among the three worsened.

Following a fight, the couple engaged in sexual relations, during which Tran tied her partner's hands above his head and to the windowsill. While the man was tied up, Tran went to the kitchen, got a knife then went back into the bedroom. In a fit of anger, she used the knife to sever her partner's penis, which she then flushed down the toilet!

And it's that, that crossed the line. Down the toilet??? You suck lady! At least give surgeons a chance to fix his member! And then what's up with making him watch as she did the deed? At least Bobbitt was asleep!

I have to go to work now, but I want to know your thoughts. And can any of you guess what else I think goes too far?

***************************Final Update*************************************

The only thing worse than a woman severing your penis and flushing it down the toilet is a woman who takes away your right to see your children. Now, if you're a child molester or an abusive father, that's one thing. I understand it. But if a woman just decides to leave her husband, take the kids and disappear without a trace...that is crossing the line. Inexcuseable, no matter how you look at it.

Of course it would never come to that if we men just learned to keep it in our pants...but that's easier said than done.

Yesterday, I went to the Mexican market down the street from my house to pick up some carne ranchera. When I got to the front entrance, I saw a poorly dressed Mexican man looking around with a desperate look on his face. With an embarrassed look, and an almost apologetic tone, he asked "¿Habla Español?" (*Do you speak Spanish?) I guess he asked me because I was wearing a Redwings jersey, baggy jeans, with Dr Martin boots and sunglasses...not the typical dress for the average person that shops there I'm guessing. Besides, there's always been a certain animosity towards Mexicans from Mexico and Mexicans living in the US. Don't ask me why, it's just like that. Some coconut bastards even go so far as to pretend they don't speak Spanish and deny their race.

I took off my sunglasses and looked him in the eye after I told him that I did. He told me that he had just arrived from the border that very day. He came out here because a friend of his had family here already and would help them find work. It turns out that it was all talk, and now he was in a new state with no place to stay and no money. He told me that he was hungry. I put my sunglasses back on because I wanted to hide the emotion in my eyes as he spoke to me. It was the hungry part that got me. I will never be able to forget what it feels like to be hungry.

As a child, I never understood or cared for explanations of why we would not be eating that night. A child's mind can't grasp concepts beyond the pain in their stomach. Explanations and tearful apologies don't take the pain away. There's even hateful thoughts and resentment towards parents that are supposed to provide for you. I'm ashamed of those thoughts and feelings that I had. As an adult, I understand. As a parent now, I can't imagine how painful it would be to have to explain to your hungry child that there was no food...and have to look at their innocent faces and having to hear them cry themselves to sleep for lack of food. I swear to God and Jesus, I don't wish that on anybody. God bless my parents for trying.

I didn't say another word to this young man, for fear of my voice cracking and betraying me. I was trying hard to show no emotion. I pulled out my wallet,took all the money inside and handed it to him without saying a word. I don't know how much was there. He was floored. Silent. 

"Le deseo buena suerte." (*I wish you good luck) was all I managed to say as I left.

Did you ever have a feeling in your heart...a knowledge...an assurance that you did exactly as God wanted you to do at any given moment? I have. This was one such time. I truly believe that I was meant to be at that very spot at that exact time. I know that this was meant to be, as sure as I know the Sun will shine tomorrow. I can't explain that any better than that. It's at times like these that I feel closest to God. It's also after moments like that, that I have a small hope of being forgiven for past mistakes of a wayward youth. I try and stay away from writing about God and religion, but I had to write that.

-Miguel

In view of the recent school shooting and all the questions raised by such events...and my homegirl Paige wanting answers, I decided to share the secret recipe of making a killer:

1. First, you place a child in a poor neighborhood, preferably, a high crime area. Next, you let him witness all manner of wickedness and macabre violence. He must see that it is normal to find dead bodies lying in alleys and people shooting at each other. Now, keep him hungry and poorly dressed. Now, subject that child to a dysfunctional family, preferably one that has an alcoholic father who beats on his mother as well as the child.

2. Now, after a few years, send him to school dressed in clothes that are either too small or too big. Make sure that his shoes are very worn and tattered. Make sure that those shoes are also no name brand shoes. Surround him with bigger kids who make fun of this child's appearance everyday. Make sure that he gets beat up often and forced to have a low self esteem. Make sure that pretty girls laugh at him as well. This will fill the child with the much needed hate he will need later.

3. When the child is in his teens, introduce him to gang members who teach him how to protect himself using violence. Show the child that the greatest feeling in the world is that of revenge. Show him that kindness is weakness and that mercy is for people who are scared. Make it so he can buy a gun on the street for 50 dollars.

4. Make that feel as a victim. Someone who has had a bad hand dealt to him. Remind him often of all of the times people laughed at him when he was a child, and make sure that he feels ashamed that he was once a weak individual who was made fun of in school. Remind him how life has been a real bitch and how the only way to get respect is to take it. Fill his head with foolish pride and a sense of grandeur.

5. Step back and wait for some foolish person to test this kid, or call him out or insult his pride.

-More later-

I hate shitting on people's faith and religion...but I have to get this off my chest. When did Jesus become like Elvis? There is no shortage of people who claim to have sighted Jesus. Now, did anyone find him while engaged in fervant prayer on a mountaintop? After a few days of fasting and asking for guidance?  In a church or hospital chapel maybe? No. They find him in toast. ==>

And supposing that this really was Jesus coming to visit you as you eat your breakfast...what makes you think that it's okay to place this piece of toast on an e-bay auction?

Here are some more examples==>

Is it just me or are these people just a few fries short of a happy meal? I mean, why would Jesus appear to you in your dental x-rays? But as inconceivable as all this may be, I believe this one takes the cake ==>

You're kidding right? Please tell me that you people aren't that stupid...please? More to come...

So last night my daughter was watching television on the bed with her baby brother and mom. They were watching "Monster House." I was typing at the time over by my desk. I was listening to the movie (it seems that they can't enjoy a movie at a moderate volume) and the music caught my attention. I looked over and this evil-looking house is trying to eat these children...and they are screaming. My kids looked really afraid. I wondered, "What kind of a dad am I?" My kids were watching a movie that I bought them. I called out S.O.'s name and said, why are you letting the kids watch this? Just then, she looks at my daughter (3) and says, "Are you scared?" My daughter looked over at me and then looked at her with a confused look as she said, "Papa, esta alla...no pasa nada." ("Dad is over there...nothing is going to happen.")

That's the second time that she's said that. It had the same effect that it did the first time I heard it. It's a sobering thought when I realize that she in fact means that. She has full confidence that I will never let anything bad happen to her and there is no reason for her to be afraid. She's right. I'd die before I'd let anything bad happen to her. At the same time, I am reminded of what a huge responsibility it is to raise children.

Damn! Do we really take a minute to think about the consequences of how we raise our children? What do we teach them? It's not just what we say but what we show them. Are we examples of what we want them to be? Are we worthy of the admiration and love that they give us? It's a scary thought. I know that I'm not. Though I think they could do worse, I feel that I can do better when it comes to raising them. I'm by no means the best dad I can be.

Like it or not, our children will more than likely follow in our footsteps. I for one don't want to look back on my life and feel that I could have done better. They grow up so fast, and in this quickly decaying society we can't afford to let an opportunity pass us by. After all, our children need us.

In about two months, give or take a few days, I will have been on Xanga about a year. In that time, I've written a lot of things. Some serious, some amusing and even some questionable. In all of that time, I think I've only blocked about  4 people, though I have deleted a few dozen comments. I have quite a diverse crowd coming here, but most do not comment. I can't say that I blame them, because I do that too. I'm just glad they came and read. Truth is, I write because I like it. Though I do enjoy the comments immensely.

But after having one of the most successful weeks since having started, I was wondering about something. 1. What brings you people over here? and 2. How do you see me?

So, how do you see me? Why do you visit?

***********************************UPDATE***********************************

Okay, okay...enough. Sniff, sniff. You're going to give me snot bubbles here pretty soon! I feel like I'm laying dead in a coffin, and listening to everyone tell lies about how good of a person I was when I was alive. But I'm not dead, and  I do believe you all. So, I'm gonna wipe these tears away and think of something to post later.

Now I feel pressured to write something worthwhile...or funny. Who knows? When I feel inspired, I'll post. See ya soon!

Your eyes open slowly, after a night of debauchery and an alcohol induced stupor. The aftertaste of old beer in your mouth and tar filled nostrils are your introduction to a new day. You have nothing to look forward to. The night of partying and drinking has not had the effect you intended. Instead, you curse the bright afternoon sun, that has penetrated your space and forced you to wake. Not quite awake yet, you light another cancer stick and try and remember what happened the night before. But last night was no different than the last hundred days that have gone by...they were wasted. You didn't make a difference. But it's all about surviving. There is no aspiration, or even thoughts of doing something with your life. You have accepted your destiny...that is, failure and death. Death is what you look forward to.

It's not just you, but everyone around you. It seems that everyone you know has been dealt the same cards. It is your lot in life. Ah, fuck it. The world won't miss you when your gone. Though you are surrounded by many, you are alone...always alone. You have trouble forming strong emotional ties, because everytime you have, it's been taken from you. From your parents to your brothers and even friends. You've been forced to endure this bitch all alone. In fact, that is why you look forward to death...Hell can't be worse than this! Since you have nothing to lose, you just take life as it comes.

The night which brings rest and comfort to others, is your enemy. To you, it brings thoughts of death and violence. It brings flashbacks and unforgettable memories of atrocities you witnessed, from both sides of the gun. Alcohol then, is your Messiah, for it is alcohol that brings forgetfulness...eventually.

Ironically, this darkness that the night brings is also your friend. Why? Because the night also brings cover...cover to do your acts of evil. Violent crimes it seems are seldom done in daylight.

Revenge and hate are the only things that keep you alive. They are the only things that motivate you to continue living...to get those motherfuckers who took from you. An eye for an eye? Fuck that! Both your eyes, your legs and anything else for the price of my eye. Quid pro quo is for civilians. We will never be even. You will all be in my debt until you die..and when you do, you better believe it will continue with the friends you left behind. Hate never has its fill.

Shove that sermon up your ass, preacher. Your Bible won't save me from my life. Those are just fancy words some men wrote down years ago. They never endured gunfire, or been involved in war. Don't come to me talking about a Just and Loving Creator! Where the fuck was he when my friend got his brains scattered on my lap? Why didn't he let me keep my promise that I whispered to my friend, "everything's gonna be alright, you're not gonna die homie." A Merciful God you say? I suppose it's merciful to have someone confined to a wheelchair with colostomy bags and tubes for their penis? A friend in Jesus you say? Can Jesus make my father tell me that he loves me? Can Jesus give me back my childhood? Can he erase the memory of a drunk father beating on my mother? Can Jesus save me from my lot in life? Is he not the one who placed me here and put me through this shit in the first place...and now he wants to save me from what he's responsible for in the first place?

Do you understand now? Thousands of kids raised in the streets of Los Angeles feel this hopelessness...and the sad part is that they reject the only thing that can save them from their life. Life's a bitch.

-Miguel

"...just tell me, I won't be mad. I just have to know." (women)

How many times have you women said that in your life and meant it? Seriously, has there ever been a woman since the beginning of time that has uttered those words and meant them??? I doubt it. Just out of curiosity...has any woman reading this, said this to their boyfriend/husband and meant  it?

The worst part is that sooner or later men fall for it! I think that it's mostly due to the repetitiveness of it and the constant nagging. We just want to watch the game. We hear it so much that after a while we say to ourselves, "Maybe she really does just want to know...duh." We finally answer you., thinking that now you will put it behind you and we can get back to watching the Lakers. Ha! Wrong!!!

It was just a trap. You got us. You women suck. Our reward for our honesty is always bad. Why can't you just be happy that we are being honest with you? Let me save you ladies the trouble:

• Yes, that dress makes you look fat
• Yes, we hate your parents
• Yes, we think your sister is hotter than you
• Yes, that was lipstick on our collar
• Yes, your brother is a dick
• Yes, we were checking out that woman at the mall
• Yes, we hate your cooking
• Yes, we messed up the laundry that day on purpose so you never made us do it again
• Yes, we sometimes place guy names on our phones to throw you off
• No, we didn't forget...we just didn't want to do it
• No, we think Hell will be an upgrade to time spent with you

That's all.