July 15, 2007
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It's About Time You Update, You Bastard! You Think I Subscribed To You For Fun? 
What the hell, Miguel? Why haven't you updated? Well, I'll tell you...lack of sleep causes uncreative minds. Why keep posting about how work sucks and how I hate the hours? Boring right?
So. I'm a firm believer in staying out of people's business in real life. Not only that, I also believe that nobody is above a good ass kicking. And even further, I feel that there's a reason to smack anyone if they cross the line. Still, the macho tendencies prevent me from ignoring it when a man strikes a woman. It's just not my thing. This isn't to say that I have abstained from putting the pimp hand down in my life, but I can honestly say that I never struck a woman in anger in these 41 years. This morning I saw it while shopping at Staples. I was walking towards my car when I heard a couple arguing two cars down from me. Before I reached my car, it had escalated to a higher level. The guy had smacked her hard accross the face! She came at him again and he repeated it. This time she remained crying on the floor. I had to fight every urge in me to go and give the guy the laying on of hands to cure him of his wickedness. By the time he saw me, I had already discarded my bags and already next to his woman, asking her if she was okay. "Mind your fuckin' business, asshole."
Yeah, Miguel. Who the hell do you think you are? That's what you get for trying to get involved! You forgot the code. Still. What was she thinking??? Which brings me to the question ===>
Why do women put up with abusive men?
*****UPDATE****
And of course, my favorite ones:
Comments (41)
Personally I wouldn't. I'm not above going Bobbitt on his ass should he be foolish enough to ever put his nasty dick beaters on me! However, most women aren't like me.
I think that's what Lisa would say. We shall see.
haha are you calling me boring? ah well, I'd tend to agree.
Women probably put up with abusive me because it's a lot of effort to cut them out of their lives.
"He hits me because he loves me" is usually what they're thinking.
Poor idiots.
Well, you know, bitch talks back, bitch needs to get put down.
Once, I was in an abusive relationship. I convinced myself that only I could see the good in that person, and he convinced me that I needed him... it was a sick, twisted relationship. It took some counseling for me to get right, never again, but I also understand why the woman yelled at you... I am sure it was in self defense. If she had responded to you in any kind of way other than that she probably would have got more when she got home.
Nice post Miguel. This is the second time I wrote it. I think you canceled me out as you were posting a comment to me at the same time, but I don't for sure, I just know my last comment disappeared.
Hugs, Tricia
Aww, is that Rene Armando Nunez's little wee wee in the picture? Was he a beater? If he was, I do hope he never gets his wee back, unless its in a hotdog bun w/relish, mustard, ketchup . . . and a side of fries.
Its really sad that people feel the need to stay in those relationships...However it happens all the time.
Thanks for your post, this reminded me of a lot.
<3 Lenna
I would imagine that the men who are abusive are manipulative too and perpetuate the "hitting for love" thinking.
good post...............................tried only one time to stop something like that..............................bitch hit me from behind while I was backing her man off...............and that was after she yelled for help..................... "Someone please help me..............."
never again unless it was my daughter......................then I'd kill him
^^ I hear you! Amen!
I shall star your ass for being super cholo!
Good job Miguel, good job.
I have no idea why women stay in these situations and i'm tired of trying to figure it out. I think we (women) should be farther along than putting up with crap like that.
RYC: i have an insane headache prepping myself for this coming week..the big day. reading, paperwork, reading, paperwork...hey, wish me well, because i feel positive.
oh hey, that is a cute little kid with his little puchero
oh and hey, you're a LIFER huh?
in a good way! 
i've always wanted to do that
aw jeez--that means i have to get off my ass n comment...
but not on this--get too pissed off at the thought of it...
I think because most of them are afraid. I don't just mean afraid of the guy.
I have never hit a woman as well, but have jump in on many an asshole beating up on a chick. I generally have the upper hand but on a few times come out on the bottom. I did learn is that when you stand up for the girl and start giving the guy a beating usually the chick turns on you. I have never understood that. Its like they thought that they deserved it.
Take care buddy
Fear. Fear of the unknown. The devil you know is less scary than the devil you don't know.
I have NO idea why they put up w/it. When you figure out a GOOD reason to stay with someone who smacks the curl out of your hair, you let me know.
Misery loves company.
in college i talked with alot of women when i worked night security. through observation and hours of research (the talks with women) i have developed a theory.
women say that they want a nice guy but is really wanting a project. they choose the jerk in the hopes to change them into a nice guy. this way they can show him off to their friends and say that he is a nice guy cause they made him that way. then they get too much time invested in him and if they leave, they are a failure and wasted all that time. so they stay with him rather than admitting defeat. some are too emotional and actually think that they are in love when they aren't.
She pictures the man as strength. Sure, he might hit her. But he also protects her. A guy that doesn't hit her is weak, and will not be able to protect her. Not saying that's the reality, just what she might be thinking.
I'm glad for all of us who post when we have something worth posting about. I might post something just to goof off, or I might post the lates project I completed, but I never post about the daily ins and outs of daily life. "I worked today, it was hot, I'm tired, writing to my xanga cuz I'm bored, did laundry, kid's are outside playing, there's a soap opera on tv...." Sure, that's what I want to read about! (insert sarchasm)
Anyway, low self esteem. That's why. Guys who hit women are low lifes, but that's what the think is a real man. That low life protects her from all the other low lifes. But that's just one possible reason. There must be dozens of reasons. Take your choice, the result is the same.
Amazing thing, alot of women (UNFORTUNATELY), leave a BAD relationship then get RIGHT back into the same type relationship with a different guy, SAME issue. Rather then wait, get her mind right, figure out what happened, get at peace. They jump in again. Crazy, but sad...
Your an absolute sweetheart and most men could learn something from you and a few others on here. I will never and have never let any man hit me. I would kill him I would lay him out somewhere where he aint coming up from. That also includes if someone touches my babies. I will lay that guys ass out or something worse.
I still remember volunteering for the Red Cross's Blood Drive on The Naval Base. I had my oldest son with me and he and I were working the food part I was also working the blood pressure area. Some guy decided he needed to threaten my son by telling him he was going to take him out side and beat him to death. This was a full grown man threatening a young kid being friendly. Lets just say I heard the asshole threatening him and came up and said " I promise you if you try and take that boy out of this room , I will follow and you aint a coming back breathing". The two guys sitting on either side of him were holding him down and shut the f**k up she can get the guy over there to take you to the brig where you aint coming back from for a while. He was like the security guard they have on base. Lets just say he didnt know when to quit and I almost got to hit the guy. He did get dragged out of the area by his buddies though, lucky stiff.
Yeah I think we all know at least one or two friends that cant figure out how to fix their computer. I have even told them to take the sucker to best buy. No I dont like them ..
Have a good one Miguel.
Hope your swooning all those gorgeous girls.
OUCH! I remember that revenge of bobbit, but hell - the pic adds all the impact. damn.
The pictures don't do it justice I assume...
I was in a relationship once where the man had multiple gf's that I KNEW about, and he would hit them (slapping), but not me because I was so sensitive, and it bugged him to see me cry. I wished to God that he would hit me because I thought that if he did, he would love me more than the others.
How crazy is that?? This is why I tell myself I should NEVER complain about Andy, lol...
Who knows? Sometimes I don't think even the woman knows. Maybe they feel as if they're in love despite their mans shortcomings.(Beatings)
Fogofconfusion has a point. Women go for jerks a lot of the time. Ok, I don't want to make generalizations like that. However in my brief experience in life, (high school, some college), women always seem to ignore the nice guy and go for the jerks, assholes, etc
I was in an abusive relationship when I was 16-18 yrs old. He threatened to kill me and my family if I left, so I didn't leave. At that age, it's easy to believe someone that has that power over you. Most don't understand that, but if you've been in the situation, it is understandable and scary.
I have tried to figure out what goes on in a womans head that keeps her in that kind of a position....but I have no idea! I may come off as a bitch but thats ok because with that attitude I know I will never feel as if I have to endure that kind of abuse from any man. And I am doing my best to pass that on to my daughter.
In my case, I was young (18), low self esteem, thought I was in love (did I mention I how stupid I was, guy had just gotten out of CYA). He was also very manipulative, isolated me from all friends and family and after a year had me so beaten down I didn't even care about myself anymore. No one who knows me now, can even imagine me putting up with something like that. Only good thing that came out of it, there's not much that I'm afraid of now.
Yeah, I've heard some fucked up stories where the woman starts defending the guy if someone else steps in and tries to prevent the beating. It's cruel, but when that happens, my thinking is, let her dumb ass get beat then. One chance to break it up, but if the woman is stupid as hell and only defends him, she really deserves what she gets.
Never have cut in on one but I really don't understand the whole thing, especially why women stay with them
That guy needs to thenk God you didn't get a hold of him
Low self esteem, insecurity, fear, ignorance, enviroment of a childhood. Lots of factors contribute to a woman not empowering herself. A big one I think too is they think they can change them with enough love. I changed mine with a little help from Guido and 2 of his closest friends. (Not really but it sounded good...)
I am woman and have no idea. A man hits me, he has fight going on. More than likely I will lose, but he will know that life is no longer safe for him. I will get even and he might not live through it.
It has not happen to me, I have had a bad date before, a really bad date, but a relationship with such a man would never happen.
I want to comment but I feel like it'll boast a feminist rampage. Good post though.
I am not sure why people would stay with someone who physically abuses.
I'll tell you. They're thinking "No one else out there could possibly love ME." They are thinking they are defective for being in the relationship, and that they can't survive on their own. I was there, briefly, before sanity returned, I hit the SOB so hard he stepped backwards involuntarily, and told him to get the hell out my house.
You are a jewel Miguel,I know you would kick his ass if it were me getting beat! I was hit once and nailed him back...none of that for me. THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE WAS BAD ENOUGH.
Sometimes the women have been brainwashed into staying, the abuser will try to cut off contact with her support system (family, friends, ext.), while doing this he will sabotage most of whatever she has going on in life. (jobs, church, school) If there are drugs involved it's even worse. Then, he wants you to believe everything that comes out of his mouth, Like how his friends are watching you. Some of them are habitual liars, or really believe the stories they are laying on the woman, and some are just destined to be killers. They tell you how they could kill someone and know one would ever know.
On the outside and to people he meets or knows he seems to be the perfect guy, nice, polite ohhhh sooo caring, sweet, charming and very charismatic.
People on the outside can see the bruises and the sadness in the womans eyes. Hear it in the ways she talks. Even see it in the way her personality changes.
Some of the women don't take very long to get out of the situation (because they know Murder would be the case they get or because they know that's not how it's supposed to be), some of the women grew up with that abuse and it takes a lot longer for them to get out ( if they get out at all). Then there is the group that doesn't make it.
Some of us know we have a choice, Some of us don't, and some of us need a really good support system because of fear.
Why don't you ask one and not listen to a bunch of pitied theories?
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