June 17, 2007
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Mind Blowing!
I still don't know that I agree that they should be teaching sex education in 5th grade, so it came as somewhat of a shock when my son came home asking me questions about stuff he's learning in school. After the initial shock, which I can best describe as ice water waking you from a deep slumber, I smiled and said. "Keep it in your pants boy...your too young to be thinking about that stuff."
After a few hours, I realized that I better take advantage of this situation and not make the same mistakes that my parents made. So I called the little nasty hellion (no longer my innocent little man) over and told him to come outside with me. We sat under a tree in my backyard and discussed it. It surprised me how much he knew. But his question was about sperm. How could there be "Between 200 and 600 million sperm cells are normally released in each ejaculation?" This is what was in the textbook.
"So dad, you mean that there are millions of kids living in my testicles right now?"
"Um...well, yeah, technically speaking son, I guess there is."
"Don't some swim around and get lost and end up going down the toilet when I pee?"Does that mean I'm killing them when I pee?" "Isn't that a sin?"
I had to keep a straight face. But really, I didn't know what to say. My thought was that of me not even thinking about sending those "kids" down the drain...or as I like to think about it...their first water slide on their way to the ocean. I know, I'm a weirdo. Ha! I told him that I'd talk to him some more about it tomorrow. Damn! I wasn't ready for this talk.
Any advice?
Comments (39)
Miguel, you evil sinner...just think of how much child support you'd owe by now if all those millions of kids you sent down the drain actually made it! Ha!
I don't know what Lisa would really say to this.
Wow! Out of the mouths of babes....
Truly priceless, la neta
I should give you advice as if I know so much about little boys and men. You just tell him to treat little girls well (respect) and things will go a lot better than if he doesn't.
So much a child, all there is to learn about sex, male & female physiology, psychology the mechanics and emotions of it all, and he is wondering about his sperm count.
bahahaha. water slides. xD
I wouldn't have a clue, sorry.
You can turn back the page and explain that he doesn't have millions of kids swimming around in his testicles. Until fertilization occurs, it's just sperm, not kids.
In an extremely simplified analagy . . . a chocolate cake isn't a cake until all the ingredients are mixed in and baked. A baby isn't made until he gets his freak on and the egg 'n sperm meet. (did you just squirk your eyes thinking of the kid getting his freak on? hehe hehe). Nature gave him only some of the ingredients that it takes to make a baby, he can't do it alone. So, he's not sinning when he flushes.
Very appropriate topic for you and him this weekend. You Win!!
Feliz Día del Padre, cariños.
explain the truth and lay it all out. honest as you can...
I have no kids, so I'm shooting from the hip here, but the one thing I know about kids for sure, is that if you make something a big deal, it is. And if you are happy to answer his questions, and are slightly nonchalant but still 100% there for the topic, he won't see it as such a huge thing either. =)
I think you're handling it much better than my dad did......my brother's the same age, and when he asked...
"Go ask your sister." -buries himself in his food-
-.- And I'd really rather not handle the responsibility of telling my bro about babies.
tell the truth the best of your abilty...the kid's a youngin'...you both have time if you mess up the first ten explainations lol
have a wonderful father's day
just tell him that these sperms aren't kids until one of them hits the egg.
I have to agree with AcidSam. They aren't kids until they unite with the egg, and even the ones swimming around aren't all viable...even in the healthiest of individuals.
I don't think telling him to keep it in his pants is bad advice, he needs to hear that, too...and also about protection - not just protection from getting a girl preggers, but from the diseases the little sluts could give him.
Millions in child support, rofl...yeah, that would be a bitch, wouldn't it?
hahahaha. I guess it's weird for parents to talk about sex with their kids. Mine never did, but I don't think I mind. Although, I was suprised at your suprise that they teach sex ed in fifth grade. A lot of girls get their periods then, and I think it's important for them to hear about why and how. I feel really sad that it happens so early, but it does... in a lot of middle schools (especially in the inner city) there are pregnant girls. It breaks my heart.
wait till your little girl asks about some of this stuff..........I actually had to sign a paper allowing them to listen to the "lesson"...............and advice??? but since you asked.........
before you get out the charts and biology books.....make sure you understanding exactly what he is asking.............then........
the ladies have it right......what he has swimming around is merely half of the ingredients necessary for a kid to form.....and he is not killing anything or committing any sins at this point...........
your original advice should remain your first line ...... keep it in you pants.......
second.....if you can't do that, use protection........lots of protection
breathe man and tell the truth (difference between us and our parents).....or they will learn it all in the streets........
SPERM IS THE SEED TO MAKE THE EGG A BABY...That is what my mom told me.It was all I needed to know...
Just tell him the truth,but only what he asks.I am proud of you that you took the opportunity to talk to him.He knows that he can come to you.
I CAME OVER TO SAY...
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MY FRIEND!!!
Happy Father's Day!
I don't know how to answer it from a religious point of view since I am not a believer of religions. I remember starting out sex ed classes in fifth grade as well, but I had already known everything because I asked my parents when my mo mwas pregnant with my brother. I can still remember sitting down with her at such a young age and getting a very scientific, factual explanation. And then again when they got the notice from school around 5th grade. I think her approach was best and so will recommend you just continue what you're doing with answering the questions and keeping it totally factual and honest...just don't add anything he doesn't ask about like Beth said!
My only advice is just to not ignore him. I know advice from a 17y/o isnt really helpful, but that's the best I can do. Ignore it, and he'll find his own answers another way, and that's usually not a good thing.
My first experience with this kind of thing came early in my middle son's third grade year. I was tucking him in, and said to him, "You have your daddy's pretty blue eyes." He looked at me with all seriousness, and said, "What does daddy have to do with my eyes?" I just made light of it, and said, something to the effect of daddy having nice eyes, too. He didn't know enough about such things at that point to question it - thank goodness! I've always just gone by the rule of thumb of answering just what they have an interest in at the moment.
Happy Father's Day, Miguel!
Kathi
pulp fiction ren? i went through that phase and no one told me?!
first HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! my suggestion is only answer what they ask. i have an 8yr old son whose dad had been outta the country for 4 years so i have had to answer many boy questions. i say is this what you want to know? when he ask a question and if i am really not sure before i ask - is this what you want to know i say ok sorry can you repeat the whole question. we talk very openly and very short specific answers. i tell him he can always come to me with anything and if i do not know i will find out the answer for him or we can find it together. just always be honest. i lived in a very rare home, my mom was very open and honest about everything. so we sat at the dinner table with my 3 older brothers and their friends discussing everything from baseball to sex to how to cook dinner etc. just always be open honest and loving and you can't go wrong.
You just tell him the sperm stays in it's little home until it's time for them to go swimming. And they volunteered for the job so it's not like he's killing them
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is grate, everytime you waste one, god gets quite irrate
^^That was funny.
RYC
He is young, and very strong, and I am much more than willing. We have three weeks to ourselves
It should be fun . . . Lots of fun
happy papas day!
Heh, thanks miguel, the first time i jacked off in the shower, i thought that like all of my sperms were gone forever and I would never be able to have any babies or something, because I had lost all my sperm forever down the gutter, and I got sad and cried to my dad, and he was so amused he like laughed and almost fell on the floor, and said that I ought to let that thing alone for awhile, and maybe I would be able to have a baby "one of these days".
but yeah, happy daddy's day, man.
I would tell my kids just openly the answer to everything they ask. My mom told me about sex, oral, masturbation and erections and everything else she could think of when I was seven. That seemed like a little bit much but I told my kids early too. My third grader knows more than most. I would rather they hear it from me. Although my second one got it from his older brother.
LOL @ nasty little hellion.
OM! My son is the same age, I had to sign a consent form, and one day he magically came in asking about vagina's and tubes. I had totally forgotten about the 5th grade having this sex ed class. It freaked me out a little and my daughter laughed and told me all this stuff my son know knew about, cause he had been telling her all day about it.
I just answered the questions as best I could with out totally getting graphic. Told him that He should wait until he was an adult before making babies.....Hopefully a married one. lol. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because the school had covered almost all of it. Except exactly how the baby comes out... He didn't like that answer.
RYC: These days you are so fast.
My first wakeup call was when Number One Son was about seven years old and Joey Heatherton was doing a mattress commercial. Number One Son said, "Mom, that woman makes me have to go pee pee.
So ,you are a lifer too??
Do I offern you with all my RYC's????
I use them a lot...
but I read all your posts ,faithfully!
My best advice? Don't ignore him, answer his questions honestly and keep the lines of communication open. He'll thank you for it later... And telling him to keep it in his pants was the best advice...
Or you can borrow my daughter's medical school books with pictures of a penis/vagina grossly infected with oozing sores and he'll never want to have sex. I wish I hadn't brought that memory to the surface so close to bedtime, I'll never get that image out of my head.
You did the right thing by telling him to keep his seed planter in his pants. But it is encouraging to know that he is a sensitive young man, rather like paps in that regard! Tell him not to worry, God appoints children.
ryc: Hmm, so it does! I know you'll do a fine job.
Funny...out of the mouths of babes...
But I'm not seeing much in the way of science from any of your readers. We don't pee sperm, we pee urine. They're stored in different receptacles in the body, and they travel by different tubes to the tip of the penis. There's something similar to the epiglottis - the flap in our throat that prevents us, ususally, from inhaling our food into our lungs - that keeps a man from peeing and ejaculating at the same time.
When you masturbate, though, you DO send millions of sperm to an untimely demise. There I agree with the rest of your readers; they're not "kids" until they unite with an egg.
lol - wait until your little girl comes up to you and looks you in the eye and asks "mummy doesn't give you blow jobs does she daddy?" My then 10 yr old daughter asked that of me (except obviously it was "you don't give daddy ..... do you?" I just about fell out of my chair. Now she is asking about different techniques! lol. They grow up so fast!
Hey there Miguel,just here to check in and say hey! I was thinking of you,sent a prayer your way.
That is priceless. You always do well without asking us. You seem like such a great dad.
Spent a little time catching up too. You made me cry. Miguel....you are just awesome. <3
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