I think that I'm going to quit drinking. It's not so much that I drink too often, but rather, I  sometimes drink too much. If I think back on my mistakes in life, a lot of them have been as a direct result of alcohol. I'm not trying to preach a sermon here...I'm really not. Yes, alcoholism can destroy families, and combine drinking and driving, and it's almost a guaranteed recipe for disaster. But I'm not even going to go that route. What I'm talking about is the stuff that doesn't necessarily do that much damage. What brought this on you ask? Well, I can't tell you that. Those who know, know. But it did get me thinking about this subject.

I suppose that this may not be true in every case, but I think that alcohol affects men in different ways than women. I mean, we all feel the same effects (and some have a higher tolerance), it's just that we express ourselves in different ways. For instance, MEN ==>

We can be the most scrawny, sorriest excuse for a man, and yet give us a few beers (and in some cases anonymous Xangas) and in our minds we can kick everybody's ass!

It's as if we magically became stronger, more powerful and have increased abilities!

And give us a little more, and we become almost Godlike. It isn't even conceivable for us to lose a fight!

Reality however, is that we can (and usually do) get our asses kicked! It isn't until later that we realize that we've made mistake. We weren't as invincible as we thought.

WOMEN however, they roll a different way ===>

It's seems that they lose their inhibition a tad too much on occasion, and naturally, smaller frame = greater, faster, and disastrous results.

But then, men and women do share some similarities ==>

Oh wow...the things we do huh? But at this point, we still just think it's funny...a good time. But it does lead to other more embarrassing things ==>

Sad.

And let's not forget the whole Beer Goggles phenomena! ==>

In jail they referred to this as wolf woman syndrome. Why wolf woman you might ask? Well ==>

When a wolf gets his paw caught in a trap, he sometimes gnaws it off rather than remain trapped. He'd rather lose it than to get caught. So when you're drunk and end up hugging on a 10 at night...only to find that she's really a negative 1 in the morning...and she's laying on your arm. You'd rather chew your own arm off and leave it there before she wakes up.

I've had my moments. Never anything this bad, but embarrassing none the less. I will finish this post later. Off to get some much needed Z's. BTW, most of this pics are larger and you can see them better by clicking on them...just in case.

Thoughts???

I know that a lot of people think that Los Angeles is a cool place to live. They base this from receiving postcards, watching shows like 90210, and knowing that a lot of celebrities live there. There may be hundreds of other reasons. However, there is an unheard of, or rather, another side of Los Angeles that gets ignored. I've met a lot of people that think that the scourge of gangs is highly exaggerated. I have a few friends that I've met in this state that seem so damn sheltered. Square. To them, everybody is good...even if it's "deep inside." I try and ignore them when I hear things like that. I guess it would be unimaginable for someone who hasn't seen things as they really are. This is a clip from Court TV. It's one of those things that were "caught on tape." The thing is, that no matter how incredible this may be to you...it's actually quite common. In fact, I bet that most of my old associates see this as "justifiable." Life was lost because of a slight bump.

So the next time you feel like visiting Los Angeles, keep this in mind. Be careful. There are thousands of ruthless people like this. Growing up around this was a motherfucker! I'd never go back and live their for anything.

Thoughts??? 

So, I was watching The Karate Kid earlier today, as the kids took over the living room and that's what was playing. I actually enjoyed it...better than having to endure Dora. But what I found interesting is that I never picked up on how unreal this movie is. And no, not the fact that he learns Karate in like a month and kicks everyone's ass. What I found almost ridiculous was the fact that these events take place in Los Angeles, California. With that in mind, how would it be possible for a kid to get humiliated like that? That just plain wouldn't happen! Learning Karate from an apartment handyman? Bullshit! What would end up happening is that Daniel would go out and buy a hot gun for 20 bucks and then kill Johnny's punk ass the next day. The story would then be about Daniel going to Juvenile Hall and being forced to be some cholo's bitch. Then maybe he'd learn Karate from an cellmate by paying him a pack of smokes a week and an occasional massage. Then, when he was ready, he'd try and get revenge on the cholo who turned him out, only to find a prison made shank lodged in his belly before he got within ten feet of him. Reality. Sad, really.

And speaking of prison...one year from today (September 10th) will mark the completion of The Son Of Sam's prison sentence. He will have served his full term and be set free. That's right...the guy who killed people because the neighbor's dog talked to him and told him to. Unfortunately, back then (when he was convicted) that was the maximum sentence (25 years)...and since each sentence ran concurrently, his time will be up. So all of you boys and girls making out in your cars be warned...you'll have to rent a room after September 10, 2008.

Anyway, now...on to my post. I can't believe how much things have changed in the last 15 or 20 years. It seems that kids are assuming the parent role more and more. When I was a kid, my mother and father's word was law. Arguing and talking back didn't even enter my mind. Kids nowadays get away with all sorts of madness. Discipline is almost a thing of the past. "That's it young man, I've had enough of you! You've just earned yourself 5 minutes of time out!"

My personal belief is that this has led to the quick decay of society. Not just the disciplining part, but also of the overprotection that they get.

Am I alone in my thinking?

Importedkokopuffs said, "It is decaying because I'm smarter and more mature than people think I should be? Is it decaying because I can out-bitch people twice my age? No, it's decaying just because middle aged people feel like they're decaying themselves."

That's not exactly what I meant. How is it decaying? Let me show you ==>

I'm sure that there are a lot more examples...but I'm sure you get the point.

THOUGHTS?

It seems that everyone always has an excuse for how they behave, what circumstances they are in, and even why they fail in life. It's never their own fault. I guess this isn't a new concept (to cast blame), as we read in the Bible that when God asked Adam how he knew he was naked, he quickly blames the woman (Eve)...and the woman then blames the serpent...I'm sure that the serpent looked around for someone to blame too.

In the spirit of casting blame for the way I am, I'd like to blame Television for warping my delicate and impressionable mind. After all, I was watching television when most shows were in black and white, thus giving T.V. plenty of time to corrupt and poison my mind. Here's what I came up with so far ==>

Pippi Longstocking is directly responsible for my redhead fetish. It's no secret that I find redheads thee most attractive of all women...the problem is that only one out of 5,000 turns out pretty. That sucks. So why didn't I marry a redhead? Truth is, I never got the chance...and now it's too late. Moving on.

Now this is just a theory...but television seems to confirm it. I seriously believe that Monroe from Too Close For Comfort cursed that shirt design for all of mankind. I can't think of too many examples right off the top of my head, but remember that shirt design and who wears it and you'll see for yourself. ==>

Moving on.

I Love Lucy also taught me that all of America laughs at anyone who tries to 'Splain anything with an accent. You guys suck!

Wonder Woman taught me a couple of things. Ha! Seriously though. She taught me that it's okay to lie to beautiful women unless they have you tied up. If that happens, you have to fess up. And-I think it's a toss up between her and the Marquis de Sade...they both introduced bondage to the masses as normal behavior.

Knight Rider taught me that no matter how much of a talentless hump you are, as long as you have a cool car, you can make it in America! I think that because of that show I've named and talked to all of my cars. It must be a man thing.

Three's Company taught me that it's okay to live in sin with beautiful women as long as you don't get caught. Specifically, Jack taught me that you should never give up trying to bang your pretty friends no matter how long it takes.

How about you? Did Television teach you anything?

So... as I've mentioned before, I handle new accounts for the company I work for. Because it is a rather large business, there are never any shortage of people wanting to land an account. Vendors constantly compete with each other. Some do it with better prices. Some try and do it by dirty means...such as offering bribes, Lakers tickets, etc. I was once offered an SUV of my choice in order to get an account. Sadly, I turned it down. It wasn't worth the risk of losing my job. This past week however, I had a new tactic introduced. The power of BOOBS!

Funny thing is, that no matter how successful we are, or even how well off financially we become...it all goes down the drain when it comes to boobs. I recall posting about boobs and how they were of the devil in a post called "It's in our genes Jeans." But I was mostly generalizing...and not really speaking from experience. I never fell under their spell or wound up in their clutches. In fact, they were readily available most of my life, and not that big a deal. But I've lived a sheltered life these past few years and have grown weak.

Women know this. They sometimes up their power by other means. Perhaps it's because they just want to feel more confident, or whatever. But there has to be a lot of women who really don't care about the look in general...they just want to have the power of boobs, over us men.

I mean seriously, there is a certain power that you women hold. Personally, I've never felt the urge to show my hairy nutsack to a cop peering in my window with the intent of giving me a ticket. Call me crazy, but I think that that  wouldn't do anything but get me a beatdown, and indecent exposure charge and even some jail time. Women though, you get away with it. And hey, I'm not a hater...more power to you.

The problem comes when you are well past your prime and you're still trying to hang on to your days of glory. Please...please...PLEASE....just let it go.

********************************EDIT# 1*********************************

Anyway...after turning down their offer a few times, a certain company sent their star representative out to meet me. We will call her Jenna (because that's her real name). So Jenna said that she wanted to go over some numbers with me and show me her presentation ( In retrospect, I think "presentation" more than likely was slang for "tits"). She said that she would like to discuss it over dinner. I normally wouldn't have a problem with this, but I had a busy week ahead of me, so I told her that it would have to be at my place of work. She agreed and we met.

She came dressed almost exactly like this except that she was built more like this ==>

Anyway, we're taking a tour of the facility and she's talking about business. We get to our destination and she stands in front of me with her tremendous boobs staring at me, as if to shout, "Look at me, damnit!" I did my best to stare at her face the entire time, but damn peripheral vision still had me checking it out. So she pokes her chest out even more and says, "So does it look good to you?" (I don't know if she was talking about the twins or the offer) I said, "I'll look at them...er...your numbers within the next few days and give you a call." (okay, I didn't really slip and say "them"...but it would have been damn funny!) "I'll wait for your call," she said. "Maybe we can still meet for dinner." She gave me a seductive squeeze on the arm and a kiss on the cheek, and left.

I never called her back. For one, her offer was no different than before. I already had a better deal now. But I also thought it tacky and in poor taste to try and land an account with boobs. I wonder how many people have fallen for it. But Jenna, if you ever happen to read this, remember that some men really don't care all that much for boobs. Some of us prefer other things ==>

But even then it can go too far ==>

Better luck next time baby!

Well, I've been gone for about two weeks and I can honestly say that I missed Xanga more than I think is healthy. But unfortunately, I have to go to work here in a sec...so I can't post anything. I will leave you with a pic that I found very clever. ==>

I thought it was funny. I'll post something tomorrow! See ya!

I miss the old days. It seems that just a few months ago we were all posting everyday. I think our personal lives have detracted from Xanga time. Which is okay. I still love Beth and Lisa to death, but we aren't as active as we used to. As for me, I'm trying to post at least twice a week these days. But with a new work schedule (3rd shift) and family...there's just not enough time. Or at least as much time as I would like.

But I feel guilty about not posting very often, with all the traffic I get. I know they must be thinking.."You lazy bastard, post something already!" I know I do that with Tony. But then again, the people who take the time to comment have been here for a while, and I try and keep up with all of you at least. I'll let you all in on a little secret. With the exception of about 4 or 5 posts, I've really liked all of mine. What I mean to say is that if someone else had come up with it, I would have thought it good. And the main reason I don't post all of the time is because I don't want to throw something really dumb (silly and funny is okay) out just for the sake of posting. I hope you understand. So, here's to another year of the Xcholo bringing you some giggles and an occasional raised eyebrow, and contemplation. See you soon!

 If you haven't already done so...go wish Beth a very Happy Birthday!

I often wonder why men (in general) are so caught up with physical appearance. It's not just good looking men, but even the most wretched and scabby looking men in the world. I mean, even the most hideous troll sees himself with a model-type woman.

On the other hand, it amazes me that most women (in general) are okay with being with an ugly man. In fact, I have a theory. Come on, you know I always have a theory! I think that the most beautiful women end up with the ugliest men. Don't believe me? Let me prove it to you. ==>

Coincidence you say? There's more ==>

And yet more ==>

Or ==>

Or ==>

*hold on, while I wipe away a tear...no, no..I'll be okay. Let me continue ==>

I can keep on going ==>

and ==>

and as Beth pointed out ==>

And CuteMami brought up another ==>

And how could I forget this one? ==>

***********UPDATE******

HERE IS WHAT I BELIEVE:

I believe it seriously has to do with women's hearts. When women (pretty women too) see an ugly man, they don't see him as a threat or have to worry about impressing them. They don't see them as someone they would date, and consequently let down their guard. They are themselves around them. They begin to like hanging out because they can just relax and be themselves. But then something amazing happens...they begin to like these hideous men! And since the men liked them from the start, when they see a hint or an opening they make their move..and then...GOTCHA! But it isn't so bad, because these ugly ass men know that they scored big, and do everything in their power to keep these women happy. They don't cheat, lie or do any of the things that a pretty fucker would do to them. They are completely satisfied with their choice and remain faithful. Like a dog. And there you have it. Just my personal belief. I liked some of your ideas as well. Thanks for commenting! 

So, I was visiting my  homie's site earlier today and there was a heated argument going on. Apparently, Dan can't be sarcastic in the least without people treating it as serious as a heart attack. I honestly thought that it was funny. I hate PC bullshit! But I swear, I could almost see the hoods coming out and hear guns clicking as I read some of the comments.

But the post got me thinking about some of the shit we as minorities (or as Dan pointed out-"majorities") have to deal with. But I have to go to sleep soon,so I'll just start with my biggest pet peeve. ==>

Yes, from a young age we realize that we can never drive a decent looking car without being suspected of stealing it. Being brown or black is already probable cause...enough to warrant a stop.

It doesn't really matter if we are with our family or not. If you have tattoos, you're automatically a gang member. Oh, and that goes double if you have them and happen to have a shaved head!

Even if you're just minding your own business, it seems that you can't ever get a break. Just look at the expression on the uniformed swine...even before there is an encounter. Shit!

And if you try and defend yourself, or try to instinctively protect your rights or genitals...then the beating goes to the next level. And chances are that they'll throw in an extra resisting arrest charge or worse.

And lets not talk about back in the day...or shit, even in my day!

But shit, turn on the news and all you see is Blacks and Hispanics doing all sorts of madness. That's really all you ever see! It's to the point where you even have us looking at our own people with distrust, because we've been so conditioned to feel threatened.

What's funny is that it isn't even hidden! It's out there for all to see! It's there if you just look. ==>

See what I mean??? For me, you can have back your affirmative action. You can take back your token Black or Mexican guy in the movie. You can even keep portraying us as hookers, pimps and drug dealers.... but will you please just let me drive my fucking car without getting pulled over motherfucker!? Fuck!

Thoughts?

 

Needless to say, S.O. didn't think this post was very funny. I thought it was damn funny! And I admit that I had fun editing these pictures in my own way, I wonder if someone out there will get all of them. I bet some old farts like me, will.

What the hell brought this on Miguel? Well, I'm glad you asked, dear subscriber. I found a picture of Britney's naughty bits on my computer's trashcan. In fact it was that first pic in this post (before editing). Hmmm. I know S.O. doesn't use my computer, and two of my children are too young to be looking at stuff like that. So, my great powers of observation quickly deduced that it was my nasty little hellion of a ten year old. Just last month it was sex ed and talk of masturbation...today, it's Britney's birth canal! Shit! I'm at a loss. I need to lock up this computer when I go to work. And I need to have another talk with that pervo demon spawn of a child! I wonder if he'll fess up?

But really...what the hell happened to celebrity women? You'd think that with all that money they could afford a decent pair of panties! They have no domestic duties and problems to make them possibly forget to wear some chones when they leave the house! And is it too much to ask to keep your fun bags covered? I wish that you women out there were somehow able to have a fully functional penis for a day, and be forced to walk around looking at how you guys dress. And then you wonder why some men disrespect you? I'm amazed that we men are as well behaved as we are. Okay, maybe I went too far with that last sentence.

 Maybe I'm just an old fashioned fucker, but I think that it's best to leave something to the imagination.

Thoughts?

***A lot of people are still wondering about some of the edits, so here they are:

-Beyonce' has a picture of "Cooter" from The Dukes Of Hazard.

-Lindsey on the boat has a picture of a couple dancing the "Cha Cha."

-Tara Reid has a picture of "Dirty Pillows."

-Cameron Diaz has a picture of a "Sweater Kitten."

Damn, I cracked up making this. I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did making it!