March 31, 2008
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If I Had Been In A Terrible Industrial Accident, THEN I'd Worry!
As you've probably guessed, the last post got me a first class ticket to the doghouse. What sucks worse than that, is the fact that nobody took my side on the matter. Where's the love, huh? That made S.O. even more empowered by her now, recently validated righteous anger. Thanks, Xanga! But, I stand behind what I said. And furthermore, will not retract my post or my words. In fact, I've had wonderful, restful, and heaven sent rest lately. No knees jabbing me in the back. Nobody hogging all the blankets. Not having to twist in Gumby-like positions for lack of room on the bed. It has been great! I confess, rather lonely...for the most part. But aaah...I'll let you in on a little secret....
I have a beautiful and long forgotten friend that has helped me cope in these lonely times. We lost touch a while back....forever ago it seems. But we have recently been introduced and have become inseperable once again. It's been almost magical. ==>
And of course...
Comments (46)
hilarious.
Right or left? I need to know; in case we ever meet, I'll know which (not) to shake.
^^The picture above shows which. Ha! You crack me up Sam!
ahahah, how very optimistic
I asked how the hand was,i knew it would be making a come back. (no pun intended in that one either)
Have you given a name to your hand? I'll bet your hand is named Jessica.
You are a virtual artist these days, Miguel!
^^^Close...but no. That's one of my good friends' wife name...no way. How about, "Manuella?"
^^^Ha! Beth! I just NOW got the "come back" one...duh! That's awesome!
The hand is a beautifal friend.....so kind, and never judegemental.
Ahhh, Miguel.....I thought I did sort of take your side......didn't I, atleast in a way....by saying that surely your S/O is doing the SAME thing........closing the eyes and imagining? See...the trick is....she knows she is so doing it too, that is allowed.....it just isn't allowed for YOU (and any man) to voice such thoughts aloud. You have.....shhhhhhhhhh....and not tell.
You photoshop skills are great
HERE is a small rendition to the doghouse
sorry for not being more vocal, bro.....................I agreed with you.......just figured you would catch hell for putting it out there.
luckily, the hand is not judgemental......doesn't care if you switch up and see the other one............
Hilarious! Here's to getting out of the doghouse soon (but... it looks like you're having a pretty good time regardless of where you find yourself)
Very Funny!
bwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is hilarious! btw, i did agree with you on the last post.
I caught the meaning of the hand, but wanted to read the previous post, which I'd missed! LOL! Toooo funny! Just an fyi, though, we gals fantasize, too!
Kathi
To funny. Your right though that no women is the same after children. No women wants to admit it though.
Haha that's amazingly funny.
Dear SO,
Please let Miguel out of the doghouse. He may not be sorry, but he's going to get carpel tunnel syndrome soon. Think of the medical bills after correcting that.
Thanks In Advance,
CJ
(I hope that helps!)
AWE I feel sorry for you getting in the doghouse!!!!!!!! Does one need dog bones to snack on????????? I will save you a doggie bag in case they decide not to feed you...
Oh poor doctor put together poor Miguel...Him needs all his parts and hims head screwed on straight......We will gives you all our pennies.....Hims just a big boy and needs lot of love and understanding........
*singing*....it's just you and YOUR HAND tonight!
I don't agree with what you wrote, but I applaud you for sticking to your guns.
What a beautiful post
I hope your long-lost love with your hand only grows stronger during the next few days... every once in awhile you need to become reacquainted with each other
maybe your skilled hands will be how you can convince your way back into the bedroom? (it's worth a shot)
As far as the last post, I agree, I know it's too late to help with the dog house but still it's got to be worth something
I meant to get back here for a comment on the last post but didn't make it in time. I figured you might feel the grief of being so honest. What I wanted to say before though was this....Do you think that is true for a man that gets WHATEVER he wants WHENEVER he wants?? If the stars had to be aligned or I wasn't game for whatever he wanted or didn't make it a little interesting myself a lot of the time (ex: he might come home to a note on the door saying someone had to take my place and find me in a blond wig or tell him that dinner will be ready in 30 minutes but "I'm hungry NOW!"...those types of things...) If a woman does all those things willingly...is it too damn much to ask that she get some consideration? Shit, Miguel...I almost got mad at him for what you wrote. He says he fantasizes about me when I'm not with him so I'm just going to be happy with that and not ask any questions. He's a really really really honest guy and I'm afraid he'd tell me the same thing you said.
And I'm sorry but honesty with the price of hurting someone that loves you when the thing you're being honest about wouldn't have hurt anyone if you kept it to yourself......was it really worth it? Maybe it made you feel better but a womans self esteem can be a very fragile thing. But you're a guy so I'm sure I can't make you understand. Just like a lot of us women can't understand how y'all are such pigs. (Except Jamie of course...but who didn't expect that? She cracks me up. I think she's a guy in a womans body.)
I still love you but would be plenty upset if I'd been having sex with ya....hahahahahaha
Dude, you are disturbed on more levels than I can count! That is just funny. I was talking about you just last week. I have kid, a really good kid, Gerri, who is just making all the wrong choices...much in align to your past. He's heading south fast. But his writing...my goodness, his writing is just fucking great! It was my intention to turn him onto (not to try to break up your relationship with "the hand) to your xanga at the end of school. I"m trying to keep the boogers from finding me. Only to have him get sent back to the alternative school for the rest of the year. I really wanted him to read your writing and get a bit of what you've done, seen, the choices you've made, etc. Hopefully I'll get to see him again before he leaves for school. I'm truly worried about him. He's the Mexican son I'll never have, ya know?
Hey, you stood up for what you believed in, even under the threat of getting no action. That took balls.
LMAO!!! That's all I can think to say about THAT!
ha! ha! I see why you are in the doghouse now. However, I agree with your post. Women use imagination as well. I am also very glad I didn't have to give birth naturally. There is no recovering from that without surgery.
Hahahahahhaah I laughed all the way through this post!
Diogenes has finally found his honest man in you! But, my son, you have crossed that line over which most men fear to tread. Just as you would never tell your S.O. that those pants make her look fat, never, never, never make any derogatory remark about her nether region. This one requires months, perhaps years of penance. Try using the angle that its her heart and soul for which you long. And that the brain is the main sex organ and that all this time spent with manual substitution, you saw only her in your mind's eye. You have made quite a gaffe. But in affairs of the heart, almost everything is reparable. In the future never sacrifice your love life for a cheap joke ( even one as hysterically funny as that one! LOL) You know very well that any woman who would make disparaging remarks about your private organ ( I'm sure that no woman ever could or would) would move to the back of the line when your thoughts turned toward romance. You know all of your fans will support you in anything that you do. A man like you would have no trouble finding partners, but love... that's another story altogether! As for my husband of 25 years, should he detect anything different from that of the so long ago, I shall direct him to your website, to read and reconsider whether he should speak or forever hold his tongue...or whatever! We all still love you!
Hey! I was just thinking about you! I was adding to the bottom of my post a teeny bit more, because I am finally back, and I brought up your name...while you were commenting; I figure......
I was thinking.....there's always that 30 day rule, right?
ryc: No. That stupid coffee pot was only a year old. Last year, at about this same time of year, I woke up one morning to find my other filled with CARPENTER ANTS. It was horrific! ...got a new coffee pot, got an exterminator......and damnit.....it's only been a year and now this one crapped out on me.
RYC: Thanks for the comment. I understand what you are saying but I would never try to help that company. I want Wal-mart to burn to the ground. They are pure evil. I can guarantee you that many many people have quit for the same reasons I have, and have stated in the exit interview in plain english why they quit. Wal-mart will never change. It will always be a shit hole. They're bagillionairres because they've weasled around all the things that would cost them money. Changing their policy for the good of the employees would mean that they would lose money, and Wal-mart is not a company willing to do that.
So you are taking the right hand out for a date. Don't forget the left one. LOL. After taking the physical toll of bearing your kids and then [I imagine] running after them and keeping it all together, I don't begrudge her the doghouse she put you in. I mean, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Whatever that means. But at least now she can feel free to take some time to think about George Clooney or Orlando Bloom or Juanes, wherever her tastes may lie.
Miguel, could you send that hand over to my place to give me back massages? My own hand just isn't cutting it.
I love my hand as well. It's good on those lonely nights.
ryc: I know there's a time for that kind of talk and that it helps people in a certain place. But I am not in that place right now and I cannot say it did anything for me. Please do not make me reluctant to share my thoughts in Protected again.
^^ My bad, Squeaks. Won't happen again.
that hand is hawt. it does sooo many things.
So you're right-handed, eh-lol?!
Hope you get out of the dog house soon... Even I got Beth's joke the first time I read it.. I even understood the whole "hand" thing... I'm not as old as I thought I was, lol.. There is nothing wrong with imagination as far as I'm concerned. It can make your "time" a load more fun!
I dont blame your wife for being pissed. I mean, you basically just called her fat with a floppy vagina. If I were her though, I'd probably blog about how hairy your butt was or something.
^^ HA! Right on.
Aww, thanks man! I guess you know you're good looking when people start wondering if you're a lesbian for not dating, instead of just too ugly to get a boyfriend... I'm not gay, but I'm really, really lazy.
Even if I had kids, I'm pretty sure I'd still hate them. I'd put them in cages.
Probably too late, but I take your side. Women have to use their imagination, plus we have a friend. Oops, was I suppose to let that out.
Miguel, you've got to read Squeaky's new post! It's amazing!
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