October 4, 2007

  • By Any Means Necessary

    zebralion

    Okay, sorry I took longer than I said I would. It seems that Mr Sandman is a ruthless son of a gun sometimes. It doesn't help that I'm feeling a little under the weather. But anyway, on to my post...

    I wish that you could really understand how difficult it is for me to live a normal life and forget my past. I've been successful in keeping it private and in blending in with others. But though the camouflage may work on the outside, the inside is a different matter altogether. I guess the real problem is my personality. I'm hard wired a little different then most people. I'm such an extremist. It seems mediocrity is just not in my nature, and THAT, my friends, is where the problem is.

    "By any means necessary" has always been my mathematical formula for not failing...at anything.  No rules, ethics, morality, limit, etiquette, or line to cross. And when one doesn't abide by any rules, there is really very little that you can't accomplish...speaking of a warped view of accomplishment.

    girl with ice cream, sf el alto007_std

    But one begins to see things different (at least I did) once we become parents. For their sake, we make changes, follow rules, and live good lives. That's been the one thing that has kept me straight....my kids.

    So what brought this on? Well...I ran out of time. Perhaps tonight. until then....THOUGHTS???

Comments (29)

  • I will be waiting with bated breath!

  • Yay!  I was first ^^^^^^^ !

      I was going to construct some witty line about pretending to be geeky by saying so...but....damnit....I really DID feel proud.

    I really do enjoy your blog very much!

    Have a great night!

  • Reminds me of an acme cartoon that would be great to have been written and shown.

  • Damnit! I was going to say the exact thing Jamie said in the first comment. We think alike....that's scary...;)

  • see ya then

  • Oh yeah? Well I'm holding my breath. ;D

  • I will be here with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes!

  • I'll be anxiously checking my subs list now

  • Sportbikes? I love that subject.

  • LOL go zebra

  • ok

  • ROFL

  • Looking forward to it. That pic is hilarious.

  • I'm the cheetah, not the zebra

  • It's afternoon now. This better be good.

  • Can't wait to read it!!!

  • I lost the epistle that I wrote it boiled down to..."I have the utmost respect for you,you work hard to raise your family right.I remember the post about being tempted to be unfaithful,but you remembered your daughter and went home.You are a Phoenix.

  •   My past is a constant reminder of why I don't want to go back but it also is a constant temptation on the edge of reality making me question even the simplest of actions. Social stigma, hypocrite extrordinaire, coward or changed man. My choice is do I let my past control me or encourage me. Both may sound like the same thing, except for my attitude toward them. Yea sound like a bunch of babble but thats how i think about things, think it's painful to read you ought to try to live with it inside your head.

         I kinda simplify it this way: Shake it loose, whatever is slowing you down, shake it loose and keep moving forward, no place to go but forward.

       And yes the beauty of our children should humble us.  

  • I feel bad for my parents.

  • I like the change and the depth to you...I can

    feel the strength in your words and your heart........

  • It is our past that forms us into who we are now.  I'm often tempted to go back to "old ways" but I remember how hard I had to work to get past that and it keeps me on the straight and narrow...  You are one tough bastard Miguel.  You've been to hell and back and came out for the better.  I respect that.

  • i understand "by any means necessary". my situation is getting more desperate as the days pass.

  • yeah.. i try to outlive my past but it constantly bites me in the ass

  • Hah, I can't quite agree, it seems to me the moment someone becomes a parent, they become ever more neurotic and psychologically screwed. That's why I vow to not change who I am when I become a parent. Mommy Koko would kick ass.

    Referring from the Theo's, the catch phrase "old, hairy, heathen bastard" quite frankly made my night. You rock.

  • So true... I wonder how having kids would change me sometimes. Probably make me a better person, more selfless. I hope.

  • You're intelligence is what makes the difference. You have proven over the course of reading your blog to be street wise and heart wise. I think you are one heck of a guy and your kids are very lucky to have you as a dad.

  • I usually try to avoid being all bright and cheery on a Monday morning, but today I just can't help it. I'm actually feeling pretty good and have a renewed sense of optimism today, naturally I thought I'd share it with ya (and of course read what you had to say today). - Bek

  • Lots of truth to that...

  • I guess I always wonder what's so all-fired important or necessary to accomplish in this world.

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